While there are obviously more than 4 aspects of a healthy relationship, I consider these to be the fantastic four that we need. Not like the movie though. That was a disaster. Think of it more like the eventual Marvel studios reboot which I can’t wait for. Without further ado, here are the 4 requirements of a healthy relationship –
1. Comfort
Comfort is a huge huge factor in relationships that often gets overlooked. I’ve seen so many relationship where one person in the relationship feels that they need to put up a front for the other person. This could be completely superficial things like needing to dress up or always make an extra effort to get ready for your partner. This could also be something much more emotional or internal where you feel like you can’t share things with your partner for fear of a less than favorable reaction.
My girlfriend & I absolutely love love love cussing each other out. It’s on of our favorite things to do. Actually a highlight of our day sometimes. We don’t get offended by it. It helps us get closer to each other albeit through less than ordinary means.
A relationship where you’re comfortable is a relationship that you’ll want to be in, which in turn will make both of you stronger than ever.
2. Trust
This one’s obvious, no? Any relationship that needs to survive, needs to have trust at it’s very core. This is something that’s built over time with a lot of painstaking effort from both parties involved. Let me be clear though, trust is actually a very wide ranging topic. There’s emotional trust. there’s trust over the future, there’s trust over commitment, financial trust, there’s a lot of ground to cover.
My girlfriend & I have face a few ups & downs with this and the number 1 thing I can tell you is to just be honest with your partner and trust them to understand. Everything else will fall into place.
As long as we’re being honest with ourselves and our partner about all aspects of our lives, know that you’re building a relationship that’s going to last and nourish the both of you.
3. Open Communication
We need to make sure that the receiver is always receiving the right message. I’ve made this mistake so many times in the past. While you may start out with the best of intentions, you really have to. understand your partner to make sure they understand exactly what you’re saying. There’s a fantastic book by Oren Jay Sofer called “Say What You Mean“. It talks about getting your message across in the best way possible. You can click on the link above above and it’ll take you to the Amazon page. I get no proceeds from this, I just believe it’s something that deserves a read.
Personally, I’ve worked on this so so much. I’ve always been someone that has kept my struggles to myself & initially it was extremely difficult for me to share my problems with my girlfriend. But when I actually did, she welcomed it with open arms and held me in a way I haven’t ever been held.
Communicating to your partner about you emotions is a very interesting balancing act. You have to communicate your message clearly while at the same time, make sure your partner doesn’t interpret something entirely different. As long as you’re able to do this, both of you have a solid future to look forward to!
4. High Levels of Intimacy
This is actually a bit more of an abstract concept. I say abstract because intimacy can mean so many different things to so many people. It could be emotional intimacy or sexual intimacy. It could be however you both decide to define it. The easiest way of understanding it would be to think of the level of connection your sharing with your partner. Had a fight and you guys aren’t taking to each other? Low intimacy. You guys just went on a date and had a fantastic time and conversation? High intimacy.
Whenever there’s a lack of intimacy in my relationship, my girlfriend and I tell each other that we feel “far away” from one another. It’s our simple way of telling each other that we don’t feel as connected as we usually do.
Something like this will actually come after you gain a bit of a deeper understanding amongst yourselves. Just be aware enough to realize a lack of it when it happens and talk to your partner about it.
I have another article on the website that talks about Insecurity & our Relationships which I encourage you to check out. If you guys ever need any help or advice, feel free to reach out to me at mohan@bebetteratyou.com. I make sure I always respond to everybody!
Healthy relationship.